Family Mad Dogs and Englishmen

Burns Night - Indian Style

2009-03-24T23:13:00.006Z

Normally Burns night cheers up a very quiet, damp cold night January 25th and we always look forward to ours. Many a happy night has been had in the past celebrating the life and works of the famous Scottish Poet - Robert Burns.

We were going to attend a formal dinner in Madras/Chennai but it was cancelled at the last minute and not to spoil a party I rashly claimed that it would be no problem to throw a dinner party for 20 in my house!!! What was I thinking!

So all hands on deck, everyone contributed something or other (no time to organise caterers) and we managed to have an extremely pleasant evening of Cock-a-leekie Soup, followed by Haggis, Neeps and Tatties, then Cranachan and Atholl Brose for dessert then a cheese course, finished off with homemade tablet and shortbread. It is quite amazing what you can do with Amul cream.

We even managed to get our hands on some Scottish Haggis and flew in the neeps, Whisky, oatcakes. (Thank you my Brit friends for sending these out!)

To top it all our friends Alaisdair and Lynne managed to secure some pipers from the Jammu and Kashmir Rifles Regiment to pipe in our haggis.

The Scottish Saltire Cross Flag a la Robinson Crusoe being flown on a bamboo pole!

Pipers from the Jammu and Kashmir Rifles Regiment

The table set for 20 -looking resplendent

Our Madras Scottish contingency from left

Frazer, Bob, Alasdair and Mr Maddog

People made a big effort to dress for the occasion!

My cook Josephine carrying in the Haggis while being piped in

Many speeches were given and Mr Maddog didn't let us down with his address to the Haggis which he recited all verses without reading.

Oops....is that almost an empty decanter of Whisky I see before Ian and I?

Then it all got very silly with other poems Burn's style but very funny and laughed the night away. Finishing off with a Celidh and having a visit from the local Policeman to see what all the noise was about! (Very funny - considering I think India is one of the most noisiest countries I have ever been in!)

Burns wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Chennai Aiport - Midnight, December 14th 2008

2009-03-24T20:25:00.003Z

Hmm...... now let me see. I have recounted this story to quite a few people since and every time I recount it I still can't quite believe it myself. In fact, I always enlist the help of Mr Maddog or baby Maddog #1 to keep the facts correct, just in case, dare I say it, exaggerate.......

But exaggerate not. This is a true story.

As you may have gathered from my earlier posts, our decision to go to New Zealand was a very last minute decision. I wanted to go home for Christmas to my family and friends in the U.K. - they all said I couldn't. They knew I would have not come back (another story). So on the last day of term Mr Maddog bought 5 tickets to New Zealand via Hong Kong.

We left the next day..............

Saturday.

Our flight was around 3.15 am and there we were with our suitcases packed and dressed ready for the airport and our long journey.

Baby Maddog #3 starts vomiting at 8pm............uh-oh. Copious extra clothing for her and plenty of wipes were stashed away in my hand luggage.

En-route to the airport we stop no less than 3 times for her to vomit on the side of the road (thank goodness it was dark and I couldn't see what I was standing by or in).

We arrive at Chennai airport which had, once again changed it's layout for where vehicles drop off passengers or collect. It was mayhem, cars, people everywhere blocking every route. The airport resembled more of a stadium hosting a major football match thronging in every direction possible. Eventually our driver Ramesh just abandons the car and throws our luggage onto a couple of trolleys as the police were breathing down his neck to move on quickly.

Baby Maddog #3 takes one look of the crowd and is immediately spirited into Daddy's arms, with Baby Maddog #2 clinging onto my trolley. The eldest is also clinging to Dad's trolley.

The luggage falls off the trolleys no-less than 3 times, due to:

a) Not being able to see where we are going and going over major potholes.
b) People pushing the luggage off, just by the crowds.

We eventually after a long time make it into the airport to...........the busiest I have ever seen it, and, no-one to direct you.

We find the Cathy Pacific check-in desk but get directed to a snaking queue that seems to be going around the departure hall. So we join, and at this point Baby Maddog announces that she needs the toilet, NOW, RIGHT NOW!!!

Great, a trip to an Indian Airport toilet.

Still shaky from just trying to get into the airport I pick up Baby Maddog #3 into my arms and #1 comes with me. It takes me ages just to find it, and, lo-and-behold the doorway is completely blocked by luggage trolleys. 20 of them! By now I'm incensed and with my left arm push them out of the way angrily, just in time for the said trolleys to knock me over still holding BMD #3 and come crashing down onto the trolleys and SMACK. I hit my forehead on the corner of the marble floor skirting. Ouch!!!!!!

Uh-oh indeed. I'm dazed and immediately hear two men pulling me and BMD #3 off the trolleys. All I can see is stars and this guy is pulling my arm out of my armpit, BMD is screaming at the top of her head.

"Get off me, leave me alone!" I roar. Bodgit and Scarper disappear into the crowd.

I must have looked a sight. There I was, sitting on the floor outside the ladies toilet in Chennai Airport with a screaming child and when I felt it......a huge egg on my forehead.

Oh bugger, this is a biggie I thought. Going to need something on that pronto. BMD #1 is just staring at me. I can't speak, (still got stars and birds flying around) and all I'm thinking is I need to get something on that bump. I couldn't find my Arnica for bruises in my bag (I can't really see) and then feel the next best thing, a spray. I take the lid off point and shoot at the bump and spray and spray. It's insect bite relief spray - but hey, it was cold.

I sit there for goodness knows how long - my sight comes back. An airport official comes up to me and offers me a chair to sit on.

So I offer lots of loud rants of how they should improve their Health and Safety not to mention security. What a bloody disgrace of an airport and so on...... They scarper too. Leaving around 50 Indians staring at me. Which then brought me to this strange thought - how times have changed. Once upon a time it wouldn't have been usual to see an Indian woman sitting by the entrance to a toilet cradling a child. Now it was a white woman (although I wasn't begging, yet). I could see the bemused expressions on their faces. No help offered of course. Remember I had ranted a bit earlier - probably petrified to come near me!

"I really need the toilet Mummy" came BMD #3 who had now stopped crying but was rubbing her nice big bump on the back of her head.

"Mummy, OMG that looks terrible" was all BMD #1 could say (she's 11) and looked like she was in shock.

After seeing to BMD #3 I managed to walk back rather shakily through the crowds to Mr Maddog in the queue holding onto BMD #1 arm to steady myself.

"OMG!!! You need a doctor" he says and grabs a Cathy Pacific staff member and points at my head demanding a doctor quickly. Judging by the expression on her face she didn't have the foggiest idea how to get one of those and sauntered off.

We turn round and BMD #1 is looking pale. "You O.K.?" I say and............ off she goes into La-La land and faints on the spot. I just about manage to catch her.

Meanwhile the queue is moving and an impatient Indian woman behind us says can we move on please. I won't repeat what Mr MD says.

No more surely......? Oh yes, this is where the fun begins in earnest...............

An airport official (if you can call then that) comes over, not a doctor, but with a wheelchair, takes one look at BMD #1 on the floor slumped against a pillar and then me and says........

"Who's the wheelchair for, you or her?" pointing at BMD #1

BMD #1 goes into the wheelchair and I lean on it taking BMD #2 (the stoic daughter in a crisis) with us. Not to medical services but the airport managers office. Where two men come in look and my growing egg on my head and say I need a hospital. I need to get out of here is what I'm thinking. They give me a choice Chennai (miss my flight) or Hong Kong. I'll take Hong Kong please and give them another earful about their shoddy airport.

Hmmm..... they reply probably not giving a monkey and swab some iodine on the said lump and give me two paracetamols for the ensuing head-ache. Meanwhile BMD #1 is still slumped in the wheelchair.

Eventually I catch sight of Mr Maddog looking frantically at the glass box which is the airport managers office separated by a barrier and Police. Time to go I think.

"Come on honey, lets go and find the others " I say to BMD #1. Her response.............she faints 3 more times.

By now it's a bloody comedy. We leave her in the wheel chair and proceed to find Mr MD who informs me that Cathay Pacific were very nice and pushed him to the front of the queue and let him check us all in at the Business class counter. But BMD #3 decided it was a good time to throw up again - all over the check in desk.

Beam me up Scottie.

While Mr MD fills out the tedious Immigration forms for all 5 of us I sit on a chair rubbing the now found Arnica cream onto my now boulder of a lump and watch the crowds pass us by queuing for Immigration. One of which is a mother from one of my daughters classes, she just stares at us, had done since she was in the same Cathay Pacific queue.( Probably decided early on that she wasn't going to associate herself with us. Or offer any help. Interesting.

We must have looked a sight, me with the boulder, and one child green or grey with a bag strapped to her face (just in-case) and one in a wheelchair.

Still the queues were murder that night, all expats and Indians getting away for the holiday season and we jumped the lot. Saved us about an hour in queuing.

We get to the departure lounge and Mr MD goes for Indian Chai (very sweet) and I look at my motley crew - made it. We are getting out of here. Thank, whoever.

While sipping my tea and laughing with Mr MD and the Baby MD's about how ridiculous it had been so far I suddenly realise that we haven't booked our R.V. for New Zealand (time differences and office's being shut).

"OMG, N.Z. office hours close in 5 minutes!!!" says Mr MD. So proceeds to call NZ in the departure lounge of Chennai airport and secure our R.V. for our 3 week holiday. Meanwhile they are calling our names for last call for the flight.

We proceed to the plane - with the little man still pushing the wheelchair for BMD #1 (more queue jumping - I like this now, amazing what a wheel chair can do).

That's when I spot her, the mother from one of the BMD class, I have to walk straight pass her, she's on an aisle seat......

"You made it then" is her only sulky comment.

COW!! is what I think and give her an evil eye, which in hindsight must have looked scary given the boulder on my forehead covered in Iodine and Arinca cream.

I get to my seat and think alleluia I'm getting out of here when the cabin crew take one look at me and summon the head honcho lady of the crew.

"I'm not sure your fit to fly with that" she says. Please, Please, PLEASE get me out of here, I'll do anything.

"Hmmmm, I know what your saying my dear, this is India - lets see....."

So I have to sit with ice on my head for 5 hours and allow them to call a doctor to meet me at Hong Kong airport. I must admit I was thinking blood clots and nasty things too.

Meanwhile BMD #3 throws up again on take off.

But Head Honcho cabin crew lady nurses me and pampers me for 5 hours, bless her. Then informs me that the only way I can see the doctor is by getting a wheel chair to meet us at the plane door. I look over at BMD #1 who is now looking a lot more perkier. O.K. we'll take it.

Ironically it's not there when we eventually leave the plane (BMD #3 does one more throw - this time on landing, more changing clothes). The older Indians had nabbed it, obviously realising what a great queue jumper it is.

I make it to a clean, orderly medical suite in Hong Kong airport for a thorough check up by a rather attractive looking Hong Kong Chinese doctor. Either that or the bang to my head did something to my sight. Given a bag of pills & potions and sent on our way.

So what did I learn about my daughters?

One can chuck for England.

One faints at a drop of a hat and would be better suited to more genteel times and regular doses of smelling salts - Jane Austin times?

And.... one actually has the makings of a great doctor or nurse, was stoic throughout, found my arnica cream, told me what to do, order the airport staff around and kept control at all times........she's 7.....

And Mr & Mrs Lastminute.com...? Book our holidays a little earlier next time, not in the departure lounge. Oh.....and keep away from airport trolleys.

Writers block

2009-03-24T19:52:00.004Z

You know when you been away from your blog to long?

You forget your password! Yes, I had to sit for almost an hour trying to remember it.

Many people have been asking me why I'm not blogging?

Answer, too many people who didn't really know me in India kept on coming up to me and commenting about things on my blog - it kind of un-nerved me. Nothing special or weird, just a realisation that these things are out there in cyberspace for all to read...........

The result? Writers blog-block........and it's lasted a fare while. Then I discovered my saviour Facebook which allowed me to keep in touch with friends and family and share my photos. So, you see I have been busy writing, just not to this.

But as my friends said where are those stories of the Maddogs many mishaps in India?

Writers block is off and I'm writing again before I forget them completely.

Now, lets see....................where shall I start, oh, I know Chennai Airport.......this could take some time, bear with me (and for those who already know the story, know I need Mr Maddog and Baby Maddog #1 to keep me straight on the order of this epic tale)...see you soon.

Some people will do anything for a bit of peace and quiet.

2008-12-29T21:00:00.000Z

While on our travels around New Zealand the baby Maddogs whining really got to me. "Lets go and look at this" said Mr Maddog.

"Let me at it" I said.

Yeeehaaaaah!!!!

Bungy jump above the Waikato River, Taupo, New Zealand.

New Zealand - 5 in a camper van

2008-12-29T20:54:00.005Z

The Maddogs did their usual thing as ever very last minute and booked flights on the last day of school term, and flew the next day meanwhile booking our camper van in the departure lounge at Chennai Airport! As always flying by the seat of our pants!

We arrived after an exhausting journey via Hong Kong and treated ourselves to a night at the Langham Hotel in Auckland and my first bath in weeks.

The we picked up our camper and made our way over to the Coromandel East Coast where we met up with our friends Lizzie, Henrik and their son and spent our days walking, snorkeling, spying on Stingrays. Then we headed over to Rotorua for visits to Geysers, Maori dancing/cultural shows, and the all important visit to a spa!

After that we made our way to Hawkes Bay to go and visit the vineyards and Art Deco city of Napier, where we spent Christmas day on a beach in the sun watching the surf.

New Zealand is just gorgeous, wide roads, green fields, mountains, fresh air, seafood, New Zealand Lamb, WINE!!!!!

Hot water beach on the Coromandel Coast where at low tide you dig your own hot water pool and the temperatures are as hot as a bath from the escaping water deep within the earth.

Coromandel Coast

Great to catch up with friends from the U.K. who were also in New Zealand at the same time.

Beautiful white sandy beaches

Where are the Mad Dogs for the Holiday Season?

2008-12-29T20:28:00.002Z

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE MADDOGS IN.........

NEW ZEALAND!

The Humbling of Mr Maddog

2008-12-10T05:27:00.008Z

Mr Maddogs department in the Company do a lot of fundraising within the local community and in recent months for a local school in the vicinity of the office where he works. He was asked to make the presentation of 200 flip-flops/thongs/slippers to the children. As all the children didn't possess footwear. There are hundreds of children in this city alone who walk around bare footed all the time exposing the risk to diseases especially during the monsoon season.

The brief was give an inspiring talk to the teachers and staff and present the flip-flop/slippers. We talked about it as a family and decided that a talk on geography and the world would be best. So armed with the Baby Maddogs world globe he went.

What he came back with was gifts from the headmistress and a deep humbling of the situation that these kids, parents and staff endure to just try and give children an education.

This my friends is a classroom believe it or not for 4 classes, they have to take it in turns to use the chalkboard.

No desks, no chairs and most of time not enough pencils and paper to write on.
But the kids are issued with a uniform and it's amazing to see them clean, neatly pressed, braided hair. The parents are immensely proud of the fact their children go to school so the kids wear their uniforms with pride.

A beautiful show of dancing and singing was performed by the older girls.....and....

the boys

Then Mr Maddog got into action giving a little lesson on where Scotland is!!!!

Then the presentation of the shoes started with the youngest child in the school

This is the Headmistress of the school giving gifts of significance to Mr Maddog a welcoming shawl and an apple. This lady used to work in one of the tall office blocks that surround the village and single handed started up the school as there was no education provision in the village and felt compelled to do something. Quite a lady wouldn't you say?

Mr Maddog returned home that evening deeply humbled by the contrast between what he saw that day and how privileged our own children were going to a school where there is no want for nothing.

A few weeks later we got an update from the school saying how the children were so grateful for their shoes that, can you believe this, they walk to school barefooted and carry the precious footwear to put on at school so not to spoil them or wear them out. This is despite being educated by the teachers that they are to wear them all the time. Makes your heart bleed.

This will not be the last you see of this school, we intend to do more. I'll keep you posted.

Kuala Lumpur and Langkawai

2008-12-08T21:06:00.008Z

Kuala Lumpur - what can I say?

It's everything that Chennai isn't. Clean, orderly, has drainage and pavements, parks, portable water, reliable electricity, cinemas showing English language movies and the two most important reasons for us going........ Starbucks and SHOPS!!!!!!

Underneath the Petronas Towers that you see below is a huge shopping center full of 6 layers of shops, bars, cafes, cinemas, a concert hall, science park and lifts to wizz you up 30 odd floors to the sky bridge, which is the bit straddling the two towers.

This was the view at night from our hotel room - which was simply gorgeous.

I'm not ashamed to say that I lived in this shopping mall and the equally amazing Pavillion shopping mall for 3 days. The very first thing we did upon arrival was get tickets for High School Musical 3 which the girls simply loved. I got such a kick out of doing something that would be so normal back in the West but is really difficult to do for kids in Chennai when the dominant film language is Tamil. Your lucky if there is a suitable English movie every 3 months or so. So we did all the normal stuff that you do every week back in the U.K. but don't get the opportunity in Chennai.

We shall return to K.L. another time and poke our noses outside the hotel and malls and see something more of the city next time. I did ask Mr Maddog if fancied commuting ;-)

Langkawai

Our arrival at the tiny airport in Langkawai which was a bit like something from that series in the 70's - Fantasy Island?

6.30 p.m. we arrived at the hotel, 7pm we were sat at the beach bar having sundowners looking at this..........and breathe.......bliss.

The view from our hotel rooms - if this was India what would be missing from this scene?

Half the population using the beach as their local toilet.

One of the other nice things about getting away was being able to hire a car and DRIVE again and do sightseeing en famillie without a driver in tow. Here we are climbing an incredibly steep cable car up to the hills.

We made our way over to the other side of the Island to the Yacht Club to check out the boats and have lunch all happy and relaxed...

Well, while it lasted!

Baby Maddog #3 with her Auntie Margot (Also a Chennaitie Expat from Scotland) and me strolling along a clean beach.

One of the things we like about the hotel was it's supposed water sports but unfortunately the kit was poorly maintained and while Mr Maddog and our friend Bob (Our other Chennaitie expat friend) were sailing the backstay broke and the mast fell down . I had been out sailing myself with the girls only 10 mins before, we all had a lucky escape. It took a lot of persuasion to get the guys on the beach to rescue them! They didn't even possess any binoculars, I found the guys on the water 1/2 a mile out to sea on my long zoom lens. Tut, tut.

So, the next day Bob hired this.... I yelled for dear life, Bob lost his hearing. The girls and Mr Maddog loved it. I'm definitely more a wind powered kind of girl!

And 4 months later.............................

2008-12-08T19:22:00.005Z

Coooeeeee - did you miss me?

I am alive and not succumbed to some nasty tropical disease.

No, I didn't jump back on a plane to home, I stayed on in Chennai, although I must admit I've been fighting the temptation to wander into the departure lounge of Chennai airport for some time. The endless traffic jam to the airport always seems to stop me literally in my tracks.

I shan't bore you with all the gory details of the past few months, no, that shall remain bottled up firmly in my British proverbial backside. Stiff upper lip - best of British eh? Accompanied with a jolly good swear every night when I turned out the lights. That's what the Brits do best 'make the most of it'. Although in a nutshell if I HAD and DID try to put words down I'm afraid that along with my other 15 attempted posts it they would have run a bit like this:

Looks like....., smells like......, feels like........... (you can fill in the blanks in your comments)

So let's face it who wants to hear about that - So I shall leave you with some photos.

THE EARLY DAYS

The infernal wait at the immigration office with Mr Maddog just about to lose the will to live with the youngest baby Maddogs.

Meanwhile Mrs Maddog sat in her own bubble as the hours ticked on reading the latest Country Living mag - dreaming of green fields and roses.......

The car got a makeover -Indian style for the Pooja festival - you actually drive your car around town like this. Banana leaves and all. Imagine, they do this to all vehicles, appliances like my refrigerator and washing machine! Something to do with asking the gods for another year of service and pleeeeease don't clap out on me. Judging by some of the early specimens on the roads you can't help but understand why - they need all the help they can get.

Eldest baby Maddog on her first day at school sans school uniform - note the jumper tied round her waist - it was in the high 30's deg c when we arrived but Arctic conditions (allegedly) in the classrooms with the A/C.

Going for a walk on our local 'clean' beach at a 5* resort, taken in November. Note the lack of thermals - people back home :)

Youngest baby Maddog going for a spin on the driveway with Gus and her favourite friend - the guard.

For all you folks back home - please note baby Maddog has not lost her perchance for dressing up for the occasion - like collecting your big sister from school in your flamenco dress. Middle baby Maddog with some of her chums from school.

Our trip to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia during Diwali/end October on the Petronas Towers sky bridge - very smiley here aren't we? I wonder why?

Lady Penelope and Parker

2008-08-14T21:57:00.005+01:00

For the first time since I have been in India (4 weeks now) I found myself in the car on my own with my driver with no BMD’s in tow. Suddenly I felt like Lady Penelope and Parker was doing the driving.

When I’m with the girls in the car I’m normally so distracted by the constant whining of “those people are staring at us” (don’t know when the little darlings will get the concept of we ARE the exhibits in the zoo now, get used to it) that until now I never noticed the concept of the driver. Really. Actually – (whisper) how nice it is.

Thoughts of days when I could download a podcast or two and spend my time in the car listening to my favourite shows from BBC Radio 4 to keep in touch with Blighty started popping into my head.

Until Parker decided that this would be a good time for some therapy, on me.........

It kind of went like this.

“Madam join a gym?” Parker.

“Yeah, when I’ve got the house straight, BMD#3 in nursery, got the Staff together, organised our first R & R, watch my nails dry, bla, bla, bla......” (Not anytime soon, if you get my drift)

“Madam could get a running machine and bike and some dumb bells, and do an hour in the morning and evening” What in God’s name are dumb bells?!?

He then (no kidding) starts to tell me in his heavily Tamil accented broken English what sort of stomach exercises I need to do and how he gets up at 4.30 a.m. every day and does an hour in the gym before work and how it would do me good.

“Are you telling me your Madam is fat Parker?”

“Oh no Madam, just want to get my Madam in shape”.

By now I’m rolling about the back of the car in convulsions of laughter and I couldn't resist the next line.

“Are you ashamed of your Madam, Parker?”

“No, No, Noooooooo” came the reply.

“Yes you are” teasing him.

He shut up after that. I carried on chuckling to myself for a while but then couldn't help wondering if all the drivers size up their Madams.

I’ll make sure I’ve got my IPod with me next time.

Cheeky bugger.

Scrub a dub, dub and I'm sorry, your fired!

2008-08-14T19:24:00.006+01:00

I have been learning how Indian houses run and why we need staff. Let me explain. On Monday I took 5 of my friends maids/houseboys plus my own to the house to basically try and scrub up a pretty dirty 9000 sq ft house ready for the shipment arriving Thursday.

They all set to work the ladies preferring to work together as a team having a good 'blether' (Scottish for chat) on the way. The two boys joined me in commando style guerrilla warfare on the kitchen. By the time we finished the kitchen gleamed. The ladies meanwhile had ripped all the netlon from all the windows on the house, dumped it in a huge pile in the hallway and done an extremely good job of mopping dust into the marble floors. Need I say more?

While all this was taking place imagine this: your electricity cutting out (the usual 'Monday power-holiday' for 2 hours!). Realizing that a) the generator was bled dry of its fuel by the previous staff, b) the generators batteries were dead and old and needed replacing. Then your electrics blowing, toilets stop working, showers don't spray water and taps don't either. Whew. So no wonder you need the staff - just handling all those switches and pumps!

After the electrician/plumber had visited me more than 4 times in two days - I realized that to keep this guy coming back I needed to sweeten him. So retainer was paid and informed that this would happen every month so long as he would turn up within 1 hour of my call. He was going to be visiting me A LOT!

So I had a crash course in housekeeping Indian style; like turning the pump on for one hour in the morning to pump the water up to the holding tank on the roof terrace. Running the generator for 10/15 mins per day so the battery won't lose its charge. Making sure generator man comes out after 250 running hours to service the thing.

The maids all hung their mops up and went home leaving me with mine.

"Mam?” my maid.

"Yes Mary", me.

"You need to pay me 30 rupees extra a day".

"Eh? We arranged your salary last week Mary and you agreed to it, I have been paying you since last Tuesday at your interview. This is your first full day at work. Why do you need more now?"

"For my taxi to work". Mary

"What's wrong with buses?” Me

"No buses, mam".

"What those big blue and green buses that stop at bus stops, that go all day up and down the road where you and I live are not buses Mary?"

Silence.

"I'll talk to Sir", I say knowing this is the best get me out of jail card. A tried and tested method of the Madam of any Indian household.

Next day she doesn't show up for work or phone. Later in the day I learn my driver had taken a call from her saying she's not well, can he pass the message on. He tells her to phone Madam herself. She does not. But seems well enough to go to her old employer’s neighbourhood and in the words of the local guards "Bad mouth her old Madam and her new Madam". So they banned her from the street.

Sir got home, phoned her and said in his best 'The Apprentice - Alan Sugar style'

"You’re fired".

In future I shall heed the words of my driver who said I should wait 2 weeks before I decide to like my new staff. I think he knew she was not right for us. Ignoring him I gushed over Mary and her good English, her claims that she was Christian. Three sets of household staff of friends knew her and knew of her lying. I shall be more cautious in future.

To be honest she did me a favour not turning up for work, it made it much easier.

I now have a maid who speaks no English but who watches, learns and just get's on with it.

End of.

Culture shock in full swing.

2008-08-09T06:07:00.000+01:00

Well, I have been in India for just over 3 weeks and people are asking why have I not blogged, haven't I got loads to say and show? But in a nutshell would you believe this if I told you I am stumped for words to describe India? I think I have been slightly shell-shocked by just about, well, let me see......EVERYTHING.

So here is what's been happening..............

Week 1: Drove around with our new 23 year old driver who well, shall we say,

# 1. Doesn't speak or understand much English.

# 2. Has never driven for expats before, therefore doesn't know where we need to go, where to get plugs, basic household needs. FOOD!!!

#3. Spent most of the first week abandoning outings to try and find places, he can't read maps either. One day, I swear, we drove for a 40 min detour to a ATM to get cash en route to somewhere, only to discover 10 ATM's on the road once we were back on correct route. You get the picture, right?

Week 1 &2.

Discovered that our house which we are renting was left in an awful state by the previous tenants staff who had moved their families in while the house was empty for 45 days. I had not seen the house before as Mr Maddog had found it while he was here on his own. We turned up on the first day to discover rubbish all of the grounds of the house, the stench was nauseating. Ants, roaches and other 'interesting' looking invaders all over the house. Plus some horrendous smells coming from the plumbing. The pool was black, tinged with green water. The worst bit was that most of the windows were frosted glass, upstairs and down. On first impressions it felt like a prison straight away. I promptly burst into tears. This was too tall an order to put right. Normally am very resourceful person who will just go and find the right people and put things right. But suddenly I felt completely and utterly impotent. I didn't have the first idea how to put it right or who to go to. It was such a shock. I mean I had done the move from the U.K. on my own, had handled the 3 girls since April, on my own and I was exhausted by the process. I guess I just didn't expect......this.

We promptly dismissed all the staff that had come with the house. Sat the landlord down and gave him a list of work that we wanted done before we would accept the house. (I think even he was embarrassed of how it had been left).

Then I went to ground, refused to go to the house for over a week and a half as one of the previous member of staff refused to leave. (Even though they were never in my employ!) In then end it got so bad that we had to pay them off and threaten to call the Police to evict them if they didn't leave. They finally left Wednesday this week.

If I am honest I spent the first two weeks blubbering, I don't think my bottom lip ever stopped quivering. If it had not been for some extremely kind people who rallied round by feeding us, inviting us over to swim, took us out, poured extremely large G & T's and in general distracted us while assuring us that it life here would get better I swear I would have boarded a plane back to the U.K.

But life did get better.

School started on the 4th for Baby Maddog #2. We attended an orientation day on the 2nd where we met many kind, positive and welcoming teachers and familiarized ourselves with the school layout. In addition she had been moved to a class where she already had two friends who are daughters of two good friends of mine. On her first day we were warmly welcomed by the staff of the school. The school was buzzing with parents of 750 children, my friends seeked me out thinking I would be a wreck in the corner faced with such crowds. In truth I loved it, being surrounded by expats from all over the world! I walked into the school parents cafe to find a group of french parents sipping their espressos and munching on croissants. Just hearing European languages made me feel good. Within seconds I was chatting with a french mother. For my friends back home reading this you will all know that a good strong coffee and a croissant for Baby Maddog #3 after dropping the girls off is how I always like to start the day. The chaps in the shop offered to personlise my coffee to just the right strength from now on! A good start.

But it got better still.

On day two of the new term Mr Maddog got a call from the Middle School Principle asking if we could attend a meeting with Baby Maddog #1 at 2.00 p.m. We had no idea what it was about, Were we going to get a place? Or was this an official meeting to confirm that there would be no hope for the year? We were all really nervous. Remember the last confirmed number on the waiting list in June was 4th.

So what a lovely surprise to discover that we were actually now first and a child had not turned up for school so we were in! Yay!!! I practically skipped around the school telling anyone who would listen.

Again Baby Maddog #1 was very warmly welcomed by the Principle, teachers and children from her grade. Being placed in classes with another daughter of a friend of mine helped enormously too. On her first morning she climbed the stairs to her classes with her teacher and a group of girls from her grade all eager to talk to her. I felt an enormous sense of relief at that moment.

This turned into an auspicious 24 hours as I was recommended a maid/mothers help who I interviewed and turned out to be Catholic and spoke very good English. Another yay!!! So now I have a Catholic driver and maid. Although this does mean that anyone else I take on will need to be Christian as I have been told mixed household staff do not generally work out.

Suddenly this week, life does not seem so bad. The girls are in School, I have help, my driver is slowly working out where we have to go and is showing signs that he may get the idea of what's involved in driving for expats. Plus at the moment he appears trustworthy.

So maybe I will write more often now, I do have lots of stories to share, but I think if I had written in the previous two weeks my posts would have just copious amounts of expletives!

Hey we may even move into our house this week and send for Gus!

This week I got my sense of humour back. Finally :0

Toodle pip Mrs Mad Dog

Padstow Cornwall June 2008

2008-07-27T00:13:00.008+01:00

North Cornish coast where we spent two weeks on a surf, seafood fest spending time with family and friends. The light here is amazing - the area is famous for artists.

My good friends from school days who came to stay, play and surf.

Girls ready for some surfing action, with the armbands adding to the look.............

In rock pools, some of which were deep enough to swim in.

My lovely Cornish Cottage that we retreated to rather exhausted after packing up the house.

I've heard of sisterly squabbles, but this was ridiculous!

The Baby Mad Dogs in Cornwall June/08
Happy Memories.

Well hello from India

2008-07-18T17:34:00.005+01:00

I feel like one of those characters out of a Jane Austin novel who spends her entire summer travelling from one destination to the other, passing through at least 3 different beds to get there. Since we left our house in June I have literally lost count of how many beds I have slept in. Think it's up in the teens.

Finally our summer travels are over and we arrived in Chennai at 3am this morning from Dubai all bleary eyed and in dire need of a bed. As we trundled across the car park to our cars (summer progresses always have heaps of luggage, don't they?) eldest baby Mad Dog whispered to me " Dubai this isn't". "Yep, welcome to the third world" I replied. "What's that smell?" came the next question. Guess the smell was something we proceeded to play for the rest of the day while fending off baby Mad dogs #2 yelps of "Did you see that?" continuously from the car. With Mummy Mad Dog replying with "Yes, yes, yes, all quite normal, you'll get used to it" trying to sound calm. By 4pm if someone had handed me a ticket back to London I may have quite easily have popped myself and the Baby Mad Dogs back to what is normality to us. Now I know why 'The Company' only gives you a single ticket out.

I know I have been off-air for some time but you see technically I went into the dark ages. When I left London and arrived in Cornwall for the girls 2 week surfing/seafood fest, Internet access became a hunt for the holy grail! No broadband at the cottage I hired, no wifi for miles around, only access was at the Library in the nearest town 5 miles away which was on the slowest speed I have ever seen, 5 mins to load a page, yawn. This was coupled with no mobile signal either, unless you stood on a hill (Cornwall is a tad hilly). When I asked the owner could I get a signal anywhere in the house or garden I was told that if you stood by the kitchen sink you got one there. Technically he was correct. What he failed to say was that you had to stand with your head next to the kitchen tap. So with trying to finish up business with the house and talk to Mr Mad Dog every now and then one ended up with a stoop from always being at 45 degrees simply trying to communicate with the outside world!

We also don't have any photos of Cornwall (yet) as Baby Mad Dog brought her camera and of course....... the cable link to download the shots are, you guessed it, in the sea shipment! So I took some pics on my mobile phone only to lose it out of my back pocket while pulling my trousers up at the M5 motorway services down the loo! Yuk! The phone is a gonner. Plus the cable link to my Dad's camera which had lots of good pics is somewhere in the depths of his study and has no idea when it will get located. IF I manage to get a new phone in next couple of days I may just get a couple of pics loaded up.

Tomorrow another day of smells, trails and automobiles and another bloggy fix with some more stuff of what the Mad Dogs did over the last 6 weeks.

Packing up and learning curves

2008-06-09T22:49:00.004+01:00

Good grief I am done in.

Last week we packed our house up and saw our belongings load into a 40ft container bound for the high seas down to India. Not being one of those experienced expats who just sling a few items into a case and lay their hat in wherever their new home happens to be in the world, I on the other hand, the novice expat experienced a huge learning curve in how much C-R-A-P can one ship?

Having spent the best part of the last two months culling the family Mad Dog emporium of dare I say, rubbish? I thought I was ready for my packers, 3 chaps who answered my 'morning!' with some kind of monosyllabic grunt (I initially thought they were Romanian, turned out they were from North London, born and bred.) as they arrived. Oh dear, this will be interesting I thought.

However they got stuck in and it was like a plague of locusts moving through my house, hoovering up the contents and making them disappear into boxes. Needless to say counting on all my fingers and possibly my toes I found myself spotting something going into a box bound for Chennai and musing whether actually that item should be winding it's way to the civic amenity site instead. Oh dear, never mind.

In fact, on the last day watching these guys plus the extra drafted in for the day load our container I peered into it and thought to myself that I may not have anything to sit on but at least we can all play a decent game of Scrabble when we get there. Yes, plenty of toys and books, loo rolls and copious bottles of Mr Mad Dog's beloved HP Sauce, but not much furniture. That all went to the dump after Gus chewed through it and my idea of sneaking in some nice new oak dining room chairs never materialised as I never made it to the shop to get them. But hey, I managed to get the new trampoline delivered in time! So we can all get fit and lose weight eating standing up at the dining room table, which only I need to by the way, the rest of the Mad Dogs are built like whippets.

My parents who were helping me through the move kept on lerching from "do you really need to take that?" to "Your not leaving that here, are you, you may need that XYZ, winter quilt, (naff) garden chair etc., etc.," sending me into a spin ,wringing hands and looking into space. Meanwhile the Romanian sounding North London locusts had packed it. Blast.

I'll give the stuff to Charity when I get there I thought, but really, who in God's name needs a 13.5 double winter quilt in Southern India? Still it will make an interesting entry into the local bring and buy sale, dare I say?

Still it was an interesting week and I learnt a lot, like cull the kids toys, and learn to shop more. (But not for toys) We had some fun too, especially when I took the locusts around to the garden shed and said "hoover that up", I got some hard stares. But the youngest baby Mad Dog diffused the moment, found the water guns, the sun came out and we all proceeded to have a huge water pistol fight in our back garden with her clinging to their legs while they packed. Those girls do like a challenge and they succeeded in getting these 3 to laugh and smile. Plus the baby Mad Dogs got lots of rides in the vans and container to boot.

I did have some super pics of our hard working packers and all our boxes etc., But you will have to wait because guess what? Yes, the cable to download them from my phone is steaming it's way down the Atlantic. On dear....

Shopping

2008-06-02T01:44:00.000+01:00

Let me explain, I am not good at shopping. Never have been. I walk into a store and if I do not source the item I went in for in less than 5 minutes, or there is a queue, or God forbid, it's crowded then I exit. So not a lot of shopping gets done. In fact it's the standing joke in our family.

Browsing, comparing prices from store to store? No, that's not my bag either. So when I asked around a few ladies on the ground in Chennai what should one bring out with them the list was huge. It appears that you can get a lot of items, however I am reliably informed that the quality is not the same as 'back home' or worse because they are imported they carry a super inflated surcharge.

So thank goodness for Internet grocery delivered to my door as I ordered probably my largest ever home delivery grocery order from Tesco's ready for the packers. A screaming £747.00! Plus an eye smarting £355.00 from Boots. and £159.00 of dog food. In addition I had already visited Costco and departed with over £400.00 for 'stuff'. Ouch, Ouch, Ouch......

For people who are planning to move to Chennai in the near future I was told to bring by expats in Chennai and our doctor:

Sunscreens for the fair skinned such as moi :)

Insect repellents with 50% deet. (difficult to get)

Children's med's (Indian one's taste 'different')

Mosquito nets (for first few months)

Shampoos, Shower gels, soaps, (quality not the same)

Usual skin care products

Laundry care products (quality not the same)

Toilet Paper (very expensive - $1. a roll!)

Dishwasher products (expensive, quality and not easily available)

UV 50+ Swim Suits for Children

Herbs, dried basil, oregano, anything Italian etc.,

Olive Oil (expensive)

Parmesan Cheese (Dried - very expensive)

Vinegars, Balsamic, etc (expensive)

Dried yeast and breadmaking flour, caster sugar, and brown sugar.

Once all this runs out I may have just found out where to source some of it in Chennai. That's if I can do the queues, crowds, heat and haggling!

The packers arrive tomorrow, am I ready? Am I heck!

Moving

2008-05-23T06:58:00.003+01:00

The ever ending roller coaster of emotions of moving to India trundles on.

Update - BMD#1 (11 yr old) has jumped from 9th to 4th on the waiting list for AISC! How did that happen?

So The Mad Dogs live in hope of maybe, just maybe walking into AISC on the 4th August and delivering 2 of our kids for lessons. Fingers & toes crossed.

Today we close some doors. The girls leave their school, Gus goes to doggy borstal, last swimming lesson the youngest Baby Mad Dog (teacher has taught her since she was 3 months old).

Suddenly I'm nervous and apprehensive. If one had been asked back in October could I move to India, do the move on my own with 3 kids and a dog, without the guarantee of International schooling, you can guess what my answer would have been. No way! But here I am in May living it.

So my coping mechanism is 'Best of British', in a nutshell, stiff upper lip, "Oh it's fine" during the day. I keep thinking of those old Colonial gals trundling out to India as the trailing spouse, accompanying their Colonel Mustard's and Major-General Farquahars during the days of the British Empire and ponder did they do the same as me? Turn out the light at night and swear profusely to themselves. I bet they bloody did!

Parties, Plans & Padstow......

2008-05-21T05:12:00.011+01:00

We have been celebrating some farewell parties for the baby Mad Dogs. First we had a party for BMD#2 and combined it with her 7th birthday. She had a great time with friends, classmates and cousins playing lots of games and dancing organised by the entertainer.

Next it was BMD#1 who wanted a party with a disco as she would miss the yr 6 leavers party at the end of July. She had so much fun and so did I. Our entertainer not only managed to keep them dancing for 2 hours, but also threw in some great games resulting in some extremely humorous scenes! As it was the end of the SAT's exam week they were all ready to let their hair down (literally) and ready to party. Many happy memories to treasure........

Baby Mad Dog #1(center) with her dearest friends

A fun time was had by all

I think she will miss this lot

All been together since they were 4 years old

We are going to really miss them too, they are a great bunch of kids

BMD#2 Birthday and Farewell party - having a good time!

Some of her best friends

Baby Mad Dog #2 ready to blow the candles out on the cake

PLANS

Despite our schooling problems for BMD#1 plans for our departure are in full swing. Our itinerary is set, so here goes:

Gus leaves 23rd May for 3 weeks correctional behaviour training. Otherwise known as doggy borstal, don't ask.

Packers 1st week of June,

Clear house 2nd week,

Collect Gus and spend a day learning what a lovely calm dog he's become from his trainer.

3rd and some of the 4th, Padstow, Cornwall, for some surfing, sand and seafood with friends plus Gus who will show his mummy all his newly learned commands and behaviours. Like not chasing vacuum cleaners, brooms, mops, tearing my washing off the line, pulling on his lead any more. He's a lovely boy, honest.

Then on the way back from Cornwall, drop Gus back to the trainers for more doggy borstal until he flies out to Chennai.

After that, fly to Edinburgh and meet up with Mr Mad Dog who would have flown in from Chennai the same day. Say goodbye to Mr Mad Dogs clan over 4 days. Try and find some haggis to take for Burns Night Supper (25th Jan), and additional items in our clan Lamont tartan for India. Where I hear all Scots break out into a fever of nationalism and clansmanship when abroad. Och Aye!

Then fly back to London to spend our last week tying up loose ends and throw a farewell party for our friends and family.

Then departure day to and fly to Chennai? Well, not exactly.

We thought we would have a little stop-over, you know, for the children.

In Dubai, for...... well, 9 days actually. A little R & R. Mrs Mad Dog will really, really need it after doing the 'move' all by herself and playing single parent for goodness knows how long. She just needs a visit to the spa, maybe once. No, make that 9 times.

Also, we want to do lots, and lots of sailing. (just to make sure the manicurist at the spa earns her money!) Not sure how much sailing we will be able to do in Chennai. We have a date set with the Royal Madras Yacht Club to have a mooch around and see if they like us. It will all depend on boats. We were unable to ship ours over so it will be a case of buy some or try and rent a yacht for the duration of our posting. Fingers crossed.

Right, mooning over boats and Dubai finished. Back to sorting, packing and shopping. More on shopping later.

Toodle pip fellow bloggers.

Room for one, but not the other.

2008-05-18T06:45:00.004+01:00

Well since my last post a flurry of emails have been dashing across the globe in search of a solution to our schooling (or lack of) situation in Chennai. So the good news first, baby mad dog #2 has a school place in grade 2 of the AISC! Yay!

The bad news is baby mad dog #1 there does not appear to be a school place for the foreseeable future.

We have discovered through well connected sources (thank you) that baby mad dog #1 has slipped back down the waiting list. This was created by the kids who were already on the waiting list for a place in the year 07/08 (most never got a place) are now on the list for 08/09, subsequently pushing our daughter further down.

Enquiries about going onto the grade 7 waiting list came to nothing as she would be 8th.

In addition, there are now 240 kids on the waiting list for the school and the situation is deteriorating as number of ever increasing multi-national companies are expanding their operations in Chennai and in India in general. Only 23 kids are leaving the school this June the smallest number ever.

So my family are not the only one's who are struggling to find continuity in education, it appears there are many other families in the same boat. I'm probably not the only mother in the world having sleepless nights about how are their children are going to be educated while in Chennai!

If businesses are going to expand in India then they (the multi-national Companies) need to look at the schooling situation, fast.

Senior management in companies (of a certain age range) generally have kids in tow when doing an International Assignment and if decent International schooling cannot be offered, this will in time have a detrimental effect on the business as employees will be unable to take up postings or worse, Assignments will fail costing Companies.

HR managers in all these multi-national companies need to look at their demographics, establish predictions of where the most pressure will be for International Schooling and throw money at solutions. Fast.

In the meantime Mr Mad Dog is looking at other alternatives.

The emotional impact has been tears from my 11 yr old daughter this week as she struggled to come to terms with knowing she will not be going to school with her sister and has no idea where she will end up. The 7 yr old let this fact slip out (by genuine accident when she learned she had a place) during the week which is unfortunately SAT's week. Subsequently it all got too much for bmd#1 resulting flunking one of her papers this week, she's been teary ever since.

At the moment I question what I'm putting my children through.

I know one is bleating - but one still has steam coming out of ones ears!

Mrs Mad Dog.

No room at the School.

2008-05-13T02:33:00.004+01:00

I am speechless, numb, in total disbelief of what occurred yesterday. In fact, I can't sleep. I have been lying in my bed just going over and over what has happened. So at 2.30 a.m., it's the sofa, my dog, my laptop and I. I have to get this off my chest.

We received an email yesterday from the American International School of Chennai informing us that they would be unable to give our eldest baby mad dog a place for August school year 2008/2009 due to exceptional demand and would we still like her to be kept on the list for 2009/2010?

I am absolutely incandescent with this news .

When Mr Mad dog and I first came out on our Pre-assignment trip in January we visited the school and filled out our application forms there and then, as we knew there was a waiting list at that point. We were told that our eldest daughter, 11 years old, was at that moment in time placed 3rd on the list for March and our second daughter who is now 7 years old was 5th. We were told by the school that if we waited until August we would most certainly get places for the girls.

O.K. we thought. We talked this over with Mr Mad Dog's company and decided not to bring the girls out before this time and wait. Mr Mad Dog accepted to go on a split-assignment for a few months until we came out in July.

Mr Mad Dog started his new job in April in Chennai. He paid another visit to the school to see how things were progressing. This time he was told that our eldest was now 7th on the waiting list and that it was looking dodgy for August. Huh? How can she be 3rd in January, now 7th in April?

They told us wait until May when we will have a clearer picture of what the situation.

So here we are in May and I now have the news that she is now, get this, 9th ON THE LIST!!!!!

What the blazes is going on!!

How can a child slip further down the waiting list not go up it? It does beg the question as to what is going on at this school. They claim to operate a strictly first come, first served basis at the school in order of application and as I said earlier, ours was from January. I don't believe a word of it!

I believe there are more clandestine methods of getting children into this school. As when Mr Mad Dog looked at the list in front of the member of staff at the school our eldest daughter's name was at the top of the list and there were many, many names after hers.

It was a condition we made with the Company that appropriate adequate, decent schooling for our children would have to be available in order for us to accept this posting for 3 years in Chennai. It is well documented that Expat Assignments fail because of the break down in continuity of schooling for Expat families.

To make matters worse we have no schooling now in the U.K. as we have given up our places at the baby mad dog #2 school. The girls finish on the 23rd May. Plus, as baby Mad Dog #1 was transitioning from primary to secondary school we have NO school for her for September start of the 2008/09 academic year. We thought we would be out of the U.K.

We have our flights booked, the house sold to the Company, packers booked, Cat re-homed, dog booked for kennelling, and have completed a 10 week immunization programme for India for the baby Mad Dogs.

I have absolutely NO IDEA what we are going to do. I feel I am staring down a very long dark tunnel with no glimmer of light at the end of it.

So, what are our options? Send her to boarding school? That would break our family up, we are a very close, tight knit sort of family. Although I know it works for some families, we don't come from that tradition. Us in India and our eldest in a boarding school in England? Nope. That won't work.

Home School her? Well we could, in fact we had thought that if we had to wait a few months, say until Christmas '08 then it could be an option. But not long term. Moving her to a Country where we are told that the only real social life that families really get is through the school. No access to extra curricular activities, sports and no opportunities to make friends. Doesn't sound appealing does it?

Stay in the U.K.? That would mean breaking up our family too. Mr Mad Dog out there, myself bringing up 3 children on my own for 3 years, when the youngest is only 3. Plus they all adore their dad. It would kill us.

An impossible situation. I'm in a very dark place today on my sofa, with my dog writing this at 2.30 a.m.

Permission for take off

2008-04-16T07:01:00.004+01:00

Gus our true mad dog CAN come to India!! I have found a solution to his quarantine issue on re-entry into the U.K. This is a huge weight off my mind.

All I can reveal is, that Gus will NOT be spending 6 months in solitary confinement with no exercise. We have an alternative route back and let's just say it's better than I could ever have expected.

On other news Mr Maddog is now in India working in his new posting. He seems O.K. apart from his driver not turning up to collect him from the Hotel for an important meeting at work, making him late. He did not speak any English either. I understand you go through a few drivers before you find the right one for you!

Our house is about to hit the market for sale - our Company are buying the house off us, yay! I just hope it sells quickly as the housing market in the U.K. is falling and our buyers will absorb up to 20% off the selling price. It's getting very scary here with people in the City talking about a 30 -40% fall in house prices and many job losses to come in the next year.

When I asked someone who works in the City where should we put our assets after the sale, they replied that we should buy gold and dig a hole in the garden! This is all reminiscent of the early-mid 70's.

On another note, the baby Maddogs have their last jab this week, another yay! I have been so impressed how they have handled jabs every week for over 9 weeks. True professionals now, no tears and hardly any flinching.

Quarantine for Gus

2008-04-06T20:50:00.000+01:00

The Mad dogs have hit a road block in terms of their dog Gus.

We knew that we would have to be subjected to various rules and conditions to take the boy to India. We knew he would have to do 6 months quarantine on his return to Britain. But what we did not anticipate was that this 6 month period would be in solitary confinement with NO EXERCISE whatsoever.

Our dog is only a year old and I have spent the past year training and putting up with my all my plants in my garden either dug up or eaten, my kitchen chairs chewed to pieces and many, many toys destroyed. All of which are subsiding or ceased. I can see light at the end of the tunnel in terms of dog he will become.

It is common for dogs to pine away to their deaths in quarantine in Britain. They are allowed only 2 hours a day visits from their families. I'm really worried that the dog who enters quarantine will not be the same dog that leaves.

The British laws for rabies quarantine are nothing short of draconian and are completely out of date. Modern vaccines now can prevent rabies and other diseases. One of the criteria for entering India with a dog stipulates that they are completely vaccinated in the first place! The pet passport scheme allows dogs travel to associated countries of course India is not on the list.

Our relocation company suggested that Gus did his time in France where although they still subject the same 6 month rule, only that exercise the dogs every day.

We are giving up a lot to go and live in India. Our house, schools, friends, family, clean civilised environment, our cat and now possibly our dog whom we are deeply attached to. It just goes against everything I believe in to put him through such an ordeal. We have had a couple of offers for him, where I'm sure he would have the time of his life and live very happily. But leaving the dog behind may prove to be one step too far for the baby mad dogs in terms of settling into India.

We don't know what to do.

3 year old's don't normally say................

2008-03-11T22:20:00.004Z

The youngest baby mad dog was having her medical today. The doctor asked me to help my little one remove her cardigan and sleeve of her shirt for her examination. Whilst doing this she pulled away from me and said "don't want a rabies shot today mummy". Doctor remarked "that's something you don't normally hear your average 3 year old coming out with!" Too right. Next she will be checking her airmiles balance.

Oh I do like to be beside the seaside..........

2008-03-05T22:49:00.003Z

OK, so after many deliberations with various friends and family, the baby Mad Dogs are being pulled out of school at May half term. We intend to set off to explore Cornwall and the West Country for a couple of weeks with two old school friends and their children staying in a gorgeous cottage by the sea.

We plan lots of surfing, picnics, visits to Padstow and Rick Steins to consume as much seafood as possible. There is much of Britain that we would still like the girls to see, so we shall take the opportunity to do so. Sans crowds, queuing the entire length of the M5 and all those naughty boys and girls from the Public schools who descend on Cornwall for their 'kiss me quick' version of a holiday. In the meantime I'm giving those girls a proper summer break.

Oh I do think Blighty looks her best in June! Strawberries, Pimms, mid-summer night, sailing and Wimbledon (I feel an early morning queue coming on for tickets). Poor Mr Mad Dog will be sitting with sweat dripping off his nose in India while his family swan around the country looking in rock-pools. However, I, have to pack the house, tie all the legal stuff up here and look after 3 children plus Gus the mad dog single handed. In addition, it could lash with rain, hail or worse for the whole month and an awful lot of monopoly get played. So I think we will be pegging rather level.

Mr Mad dog will return in June and we shall say our so-longs, farewells, auf wiedersehen's and goodbyes prior to a final jaunt in Europe en famille. We then plan to fly out to Chennai/Madras in early-mid July for the shock and awe process of initiation ready in time for School term beginning 4th August. So we have a plan. Well, we do today, 5th March 2008. Tomorrow? Who knows.

There seems to be no right time to go. But at least the girls would have had a summer break and get a chance to visit all their relatives in Scotland before departure.

I have also found a new home for my moggie Josie who, is simply too old to go globetrotting so will move in with my old school chum and her young family sometime soon in Windsor. A big weight off my mind. We will miss our mog terribly but my friends are real animal lovers and we know she will live out the rest of her days quite purrrfectly....

Caught between a rock and a hard place

2008-03-02T08:14:00.003Z

Trying to decide the most appropriate time to make the move to Chennai is proving difficult. We will not have school places (due to being oversubscribed) until 4th August when the new term begins. The baby mad dogs school term breaks for the summer holidays on the 23rd July.

So, take them out a couple of weeks early?

Not so easy, in the case of the eldest mad dog. She is in year 6 primary which is the final year before moving onto (English) secondary school. In the final couple of months of the term, after finishing the SATS, they produce a musical and have lots of departure/goodbye events (they have all been together since they were 4). The final being their leaving party scheduled for the 25th July.

If we flew out on the 26th, this would give the girls the grand total of 8 days summer holidays, and usually my girls are burnt out and in desperate need of a few weeks of rest, beaches and sailing. (Mum is too).

But the other option of going in May when Mr Mad dog is up and running in India is equally galling. Trying to keep 3 mad dogs entertained in the hottest month of the year (40+ almost daily) with no school and most expats with kids departing on the next available plane after school breaks on the 6th June for 2 months is not an attractive proposition either.

Eldest mad dog will not want to leave once the rehearsals start for the 'show' so she has to be pulled out early enough that the impact will not hit too hard either. But in a nutshell, we feel caught between a rock and a hard place.

The process of moving to India is taking an age. We just want to get on with it. But I suppose this is what living in India will be like, waiting and keeping hold of my patience.

So we went, we saw and because we're mad we are going back for more....

2008-02-06T10:44:00.008Z

Chennai traffic at 8.00 a.m., this is usual traffic load accompanied by a strong whiff of smog, nice.

Fresh fruit and flower stands on many street corners of neighbourhoods, not Mc'D's :)

Family travel - Indian style, this picture is rather like those instructions you get on airplanes to put your oxygen mask on first before sorting your child out...

So why do people do pre-assignment trips? Is it to shock the living daylights out of you of what you could be bringing your family to, spend hours looking at inadequate housing that is over-inflated by a booming rental market? To feel like you are banging your head against a wall for simply asking why you can't have a hot water tap in the kitchen when you’re told "madam they are not standard in India".

Marvel at the cows jumping over central reservations on a dual carriage way and narrowly missing your car, or the herd feeding on the rubbish outside the baby mad dogs prospective school? (This image makes my pup's existing school look like something from an Agatha Christie - Miss Marple movie, all clipped hedges and nice clean vistas). Or, the numerous wild dogs we saw roaming around looking for a scrap or two?

We were warned by most of our friends and family who have visited India that it would be an assault on the senses upon arrival and this was true in our case. There was so much to take in. The traffic (maddest I have seen anywhere in the world, although I hear Bangkok can give it a run for its money), the unrelenting sun and its accompanying heat which defines its seasons by being hot, hotter and unbearable by April/May. We were visiting in hot. The poverty and the rubbish, the sheer number of crowds we encountered. The lack of apparent infrastructure in the city. We found it difficult to sleep and eat. The silver lining was that I did lose 6lb's so hence shifting some post Christmas overindulgences :)

If it was not for those lovely ladies (you know who you are) who took us under their wing and fed us Banana cake and tea, met for coffee and showed us housing I think we would have been in a more difficult place mentally. Thank you ladies!

But all in all I like the vibe of India, it's colour, it's optimism for the future, the way they drive in a passive way (although still mad) honking their horns (mind out I'm here behind you, not get out of the way). I did not feel threatened once as opposed to other countries I have visited. I love their Indian/British woven language, i.e., did you know that the word Bungalow comes from India. The Brit's took that word and well, they covered their tiny Island in them. Up and down the land in almost every cul-de-sac.

I liked that almost every house we looked at has a bedroom downstairs ready for the elderly relatives to pass their autumn years out, looked after by the respectful family. Not the endless elderly care homes that so many families in Britain resort to. But to be fair we have a welfare state.

India did not feel as different as I was expecting. Probably to do with our influence of the old Empire and the generations of Indian culture which have woven their thread into the national psyche of what is Britain today. I have only seen Chennai and that does not make up India, far from it.

But as introductions go, this was O.K., we will see some more please ............Next!?

How long can you make a list?

2008-01-09T20:21:00.000Z

Lists, lists, lists, suddenly I'm snowed under by them. The whole planning and implementation of moving our family of five plus a dog to India is taking on the appearance of a military exercise.
Jabs, visas, paperwork, passport photo's, vets, sorting the house while we are away, re-homing the cat (boo-hoo), blaa, blaa, blaa, the list is endless.

We have an imminent trip planned to visit Chennai to find accommodation, open bank accounts, sort out cars and driver, find a doctor/health clinic, find a Roman Catholic church and priest that speaks English, also try and bag some school places (there are none, so smile sweetly and hope for the best), plus meet Mr Maddogs associates and his new boss. Phew!

Interestingly day one of our schedule sent by Mr Maddogs relocating dept in Chennai allows us 15 mins for lunch on the first day! Is this the start of things to come with the usual 50 hour Indian working week (one of the highest in the world)?!? No pressure then, and there was me thinking of seeking out a little beach side cafe/restaurant for a lazy lunch escaping the lousy British winter (4-7 deg C, grey, grey and more grey). No chance. I think it's going to be a tough week, but hopefully we will get to dip our toes in the sea at some point. As for an hour by the pool? Forget it.

This morning whilst driving the baby maddogs to school DD1 asked me if she could also take a trip out to see if she would like living in India. "Er...., sorry darling, no not possible" came the answer. "Why not?" came the reply. Within seconds the "I don't want to go" mantra surfaced again. Her information and opinion on India is really made up with what she has seen in the British media and not all of it is favourable. Whilst I have done all the usual things of buying guide books, travel writing, pointing her to blogs and websites she shows no real interest in finding out for herself what it will be like. So back to the bookshop today and bought the India Chic guide. "Ooooh, look at those gorgeous hotels and beaches, mountains, forts, palaces........." she said. "Ah, but you don't want to go" I said. "Well, I might, if I can go and see all this" she started to enthuse. Reverse psychology, works every time on her..... well, until the next time. I feel a project coming on for her......research India.

I must say, it does all look rather lovely, and I can't wait to start discovering my first choice honeymoon destination, (Mr Maddog was not interested in visiting back in those days, he took me to New York and Florida instead) and my long overdue post student travelling which I never ended up doing (a certain husband and 3 kids got in the way). But I'm looking forward to discovering all these places that friends and relatives have just shown their snapshots to me, Kerala, Goa, Mumbai (DD2 wants dance lessons from Shilpa Shetty, the famous Bollywood Star, yeah right) Bangalore, Jaipur, no, make that all of Rajasthan, the foothills of the Himalayas (had always planned to take the girls and my 2 God-daughters trekking, going to happen a bit sooner than I had originally thought, fantastic), Darjeeling..... the list could go on forever. I just hope we get to see enough of the India that still is and once was before it becomes taken over by the Tescos, Walmarts and Ikeas of this world that will most definitely come setting up shop in this beautiful country and change it forever. I can't wait.

Just need to get on with those lists.......

2008-01-06T22:46:00.000Z

Welcome to the Mad dogs and Englishmen blog about our family embarking on a 3 year posting to Chennai, India. Hopefully this will be a fitting record of our time there and allow our friends and family to check in with us from time to time to see what we are up to.

Who are we.........? Well Mr Mad dog is from Edinburgh, Scotland, Mrs Mad dog is from Hampshire, England and we have 3 daughter Mad dogs 11, 6 and 3 yrs. Then there is the reason for the name of our blog, our own mad dog himself, Gus our 8 month puppy Lakeland Terrier who will be coming with us.

We have spent our last Christmas in the U.K. for the next 3 years with our families in Essex (England) and Edinburgh and Stirlingshire (Scotland). Everything this Christmas was enjoyed through different eyes knowing that next Christmas we will be in hotter climes and probably on a beach somewhere in the world. Weird thought.

Plus we have just celebrated two of our daughters birthdays over Christmas and New Year. Will post some more stuff on the birthdays later.

Well there now, that wasn't too difficult or taxing, hit the return button and we are out there in cyberspace for all to read. Scary..........
BFN... Mrs Mad dog